No One Wins

I have been a huge boxing and MMA fan since before the UFC had weight classes or rounds. I know fights and I can typically tell you the outcome. Somehow this has transpired into other aspects of my life as well. I can see a fight brewing for months in advance. I even know how people are going to verbally spar and whether or not they'll fight fair.

In my life, I have learned to keep my hands up and block the shots or keep myself out of the ring all together. I thought my fights with my mother were done and over with. Our fights were never your typical teenage vs. mother drama that most people go through. Our fights were about me expecting her to be a responsible, reliable, respectable human being while my mom chose to ignore her children and relive her teen years. After years of disappointment, I knew I couldn't win this one and that I would be a better person if I just removed myself from the situation. I did just that. I made her obsolete and minimized contact. I thought she couldn't hurt me if I wasn't in the fight. I was wrong.

My mother delivered a blow that can only be analogous to a sucker punch to the back of the head after the 12th round bell had rung. She decided to take my dad back to court in an attempt to get more child support out of him. Shockingly she got enough neurons to fire at the same time to realize that the more she has my brother, the more money she can get out of my dad. So now the battle has even higher stakes. Not only does she want money, she wants my 10 year old brother.

Everyone is in their corner. It is my dad and me vs. mom and her new husband. My brother doesn't even understand the full magnitude of the situation. It is so evident in the questions he asks, like "Dad, can't I just stay with you?" It breaks my heart and I feel so powerless. The only thing that I could do, I have already done. I went and talked to the attorney which was court appointed for my brother. I told it like it was, but after years of dealing with my mother's bullshit, a half hour with the attorney didn't feel like near enough to explain the whole complexity of the situation. There is a chance that I will have to testify in court against my mother. I hope I get the chance to show her for what she is. The worry that I won't be able to show her for what she is or make it resonate with the judge absolutely terrifies me.

Last week my brother's attorney did home visits. I hoped that helped things. It only takes ten minutes with my dad and my brother to realize that my dad has his best interests at heart. The only downside is that my mother missed her calling in life. She should have been an actress. She has more personalities than Julia Roberts has ever played in her whole career. I know she slipped into Supermom mode the second the attorney entered the door. I even know that she dressed the part. That is what she does. It is kind of like 'rope a dope' and she is good at it.

My little brother was the one who showed the attorney around the house while he answered the attorney's questions. We found out that my little brother didn't even know that my mom was trying to pull him out of his school (one of the best in the area) to transfer him to a school district that is considered mediocre at best. That really seemed to resonate with him. He doesn't want to live with my mom, and I don't blame him. When my dad was doing his best to objectively explain to him what was going on and how the whole court thing worked, my brother asked one concerned question..."who is winning?"

It seems like a question that should have a clear cut answer, but it doesn't. Whether or not my brother would be better off with my dad doesn't mean anything. All of the cards are in the hands of people who don't know us or really the situation. I'm ready for this fight to be over with. I am sick of it consuming me. And as to who is winning....there is only one thing I know, its not my brother.